Que sera sera
by Kayxxx
Summary: Cal and Ethan spend their last moments with their mother Emilie at the bay but losing their mother isn't the only thing they have to come to terms with today as Cal has their test results for Huntington's disease...
**Just a short story inspired based tonight's episode, obviously not how it's going to play out but I felt like I should write something and so here it is. It is supposed to be a one-shot but it could easily be continued and so if you would like to see that let me know. Please let me know your thoughts on this story, I'm just off to cry a lot at tonight's episode. Enjoy, Kayxxx**

Que sera sera

Cal laughed as he put his foot down hard on the pedal and accelerated away leaving Iain and Jez behind; so much adrenaline filled his body as he sped away down the street.

"Did we actually just highjack an ambulance?" Ethan called from the back off it.

"Yep" Cal laughed.

"Wow" Ethan replied, he too was filled with adrenaline.

"This feels good" Cal announced, he always was an adrenaline junkie Ethan laughed along with him.

"Ethan" Emilie's breathless voice called, Ethan turned back to where Emilie lay on the trolley to find she'd pulled off her oxygen mask, "What are we doing?" she asked.

"You said you'd give anything to go back to the bay where we used to have our holidays just one more time" Ethan stated as he took a seat beside her, Emilie nodded, "So, let's go find the beach" he smiled as he took hold of her hand.

Moments past, Cal had now slowed down when he figured he would be out of view of Iain and Jez by now. Ethan sat watching Emilie's body jigger about, he thought about how hard it must've been for her. He'd treated patients with Huntington's disease before but only now had he come to see the try suffering it causes, not just for the patient but the family too, he knew if he had been brought up with Emilie as his mother just how much these final moments with her would hurt. He was snapped from his thoughts when he heard Emilie's breathless voice start singing softly.

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be, will I be pretty, will I be rich, here's what she said to me..." Emilie's small voice trailed off.

"Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera sera" Ethan sung quietly to her causing her to smile, "I love that song" he told her.

"I used to sing that song to you two, that was our song" she told him, her words were getting harder and harder to make out.

"I had it in my head this memory of us singing that song to Ethan in his pram, you've just confirmed it for me" Cal spoke from the front of the ambulance.

Ethan looked down sadly, he had no memory of Emilie at all, for all he knew this could all be a load of lies, not that anyone would be sick enough to lie about such a story but all the same...

"You were only two" Emilie told Ethan as if she had read his mind and helped explain the reason why he had no memory of from his childhood with her, "I wish I had more time with you" she cut herself off by coughing, "I'm sorry" she spluttered.

"Don't apologise" Ethan smiled politely and placed the oxygen mask back on her face.

"I know you will never see me as your mum, but you'll always be my son, both of you" she said as she placed her hand on top of Ethan's.

He looked at it for a moment before he pulled his hand away and looked over Cal's shoulder, "Looks like we're here" Ethan announced. Cal shot a snarl at him in the rear-view mirror for changing the subject.

Ethan helped Emilie into her wheelchair and placed a blanket over her shoulders to keep her warm as Cal opened up the ambulance and let down the ramp, "right, let's go" Ethan smiled as he tucked in the blanket in around her.

"I've got her" Cal smiled as he pushed past Ethan and took hold of the handles of the wheelchair.

Ethan stepped back and allowed him to take control of the wheelchair, Cal and Emilie left the ambulance leaving Ethan alone. He looked back the trolley where Emilie had left her bag open and her photographs scattered about, he took a seat on the edge of the trolley and looked through them, he hadn't gotten a proper look at them earlier. All these photos of him, Cal and Emilie that she cherished so dearly yet he had no memory of them or this place whatsoever...

"Come on Nibbles!" Cal's distant voice called snapping Ethan from his thinking.

"Coming!" Ethan shouted back as he picked up the photographs and stepped out of the ambulance, he slammed the doors shut and walked over to where Cal had gotten Emilie sat down on a bench, he was sat to the right of her.

Ethan stood awkwardly in front of them both, "I don't bite" Emilie told him, "sit" she smiled.

Ethan nodded and took a seat next to her, an awkward silence washed over all of them, "So, this picture" Ethan held up one of the pictures with all three of them in, "where was this taken?" he asked.

"Just down there" Emilie tried to point but her jiggering movements were worse than ever, "we would go crabbing" she explained, "we were all happy here" she added.

Cal and Ethan looked at each other sadly.

"The second we'd get onto the beach you two used to race down to the sea, obviously Cal you'd win but I've never seen someone's little legs move so quickly, you were always competitive Ethan" She smiled.

"Nothing's changed there" Cal teased causing Ethan to roll his eyes.

"It's good to have memories" Cal announced in a comforting tone as he put his arm around her, Ethan nodded though he couldn't help but feel left out, Cal and Emilie had memories he didn't have...was there really any point in pretending?

"Hopefully you can have memories with your children and you'll understand how much it means" She told them.

"Well, there's no reason as to why that can't happen right?" Ethan joined in.

Cal looked down awkwardly.

"What if I've past my disease down to one of you?" She stated sadly.

"Well then...we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" Ethan replied, "There's no need to worry about that yet, we'll both take the test when we're ready, won't we Cal?" Ethan smiled over at him filling Cal with guilt instantly; he gave him a nod.

"But Cal, you told me you had your test results for both of you?" Emilie asked confused.

"Well that's impossible" Ethan announced, "I haven't done the test for Huntington's disease..." Ethan's voice trailed off as he noticed Cal avoiding eye contact with either of them "...Cal?" Ethan looked at him warily; he knew he was hiding something.

"Well..." Cal started sheepishly.

"What?" Ethan asked in disbelief.

"Remember that patient, the kid who wouldn't come out of the car? And he didn't want to get a blood test done because he was scared..." He trailed off as realisation slowly grew over Ethan.

"...and you asked me to take a blood test with him to prove there was nothing to be scared of..." Ethan stated as he thought back, "what did you do with my blood sample?" He asked, Cal looked at him awkwardly, "Caleb!" Ethan demanded.

"I was going to do the test and get the results before you found out, if you didn't have it there was no need for you to even know about her existence Ethan but, well, as you know that didn't go to plan" Cal explained.

"Wait so let me guess, protecting me again were you?" Ethan asked in disbelief.

"Exactly!" Cal spat out.

"I don't need protecting Caleb why can't you see that? I especially don't need protecting the way you think is best! I can't believe you Cal, I can't believe you'd go behind my back to do something like that, what you did was illegal-" Cal cut him off.

"Oh Ethan don't be so ridiculous! You would've had to take the test eventually you've said it yourself, I've just saved you a wait" Cal stated, "look...you don't have to open them, you don't have to open them ever if you're not ready" he spoke more calmly.

"Have you got them with you now?" Ethan asked, he too had now calmed down.

"They're in my medical bag" Cal replied.

Ethan's eyes were now drawn to the bag resting against his brother's legs, he'd wondered why he'd kept it so closed to him but put it down to him needing it for Emilie. He then looked down at the sea; he just hoped it would swallow him away. He looked back up at Cal and swallowed hard, "Well let's open them then" he said.

"What?" Cal asked shocked. He himself couldn't bring himself to open them and he'd known a lot longer than Ethan.

"We're going to have to find out eventually, it's like a ticking bomb waiting to go off we may as well let it blow, hey who knows, they could both be negative" Ethan suggested but that seemed like hoping for a miracle.

"But it's a 50/50 chance" Cal replied as he picked up his bag slowly and pulled out the white envelopes.

"Statics aren't always right" Ethan smiled as he look his envelope off him and looked down at it. His fate was literally in his hands.

"They're right enough times for them to become statistics though" Cal announced, he really didn't want to open them.

Ethan took a deep breath and looked up at Cal, "Look, let's just get this over with; we're here for Emilie, not us" he told him and ripped the envelope open with one finger, he pulled out the paper and read it intently...Cal did the same.

There was a moment of silence than fell, the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks even seemed to fade away in that one moment.

"I haven't got it" Cal announced with a sigh of relief, Emilie gave him a smile and took hold of his hand. Realisation grew over Cal instantly as Ethan slowly dropped his hands down to his knees, still holding the papers, "Wait, that means-"

Ethan cut him off, "...I have" he mumbled.

"Ethan..." Cal whispered.

"I'm so sorry son" Emilie spoke sincerely as she took hold of his hand but he pulled it away.

"Que sera sera" he shrugged as he stood up and slowly began to walk away from them both.

"Ethan where are you going?" Cal asked.

"Back to the ambulance, it's cold we should get Emilie inside" he mumbled as he walked away.

Cal and Emilie followed him with their eyes, they looked at each other knowingly, waiting reality to shatter down on Ethan.

As he reached the passenger's door of the ambulance he pulled the door handle but it was locked, this triggered something in him; anger. He clenched his fist and hit it hard against the wing mirror causing the glass to shatter on it and the mirror to swing back.

"Ethan!" Cal shouted.

He scrunched up his test results and rested his head against the window of the ambulance as tears poured from his eyes, he'd not cried this painfully since the death of his mother and it had nothing to do with the blood pouring from his fist that was filled with glass, he couldn't even feel the pain of that...

"Eth..." Cal sighed; he was now stood next to him. He didn't have to say another thing before Ethan crumbled into him, he put his arms around his shoulders and hugged him so tight as he continued to sob, "It's going to be okay Ethan, you're not alone in this alright? I'm going to be here...I'm so sorry, if I could take it off you and give it to me I would, in a heartbeat..." Cal could feel his heart physically aching for his little brother, he'd never seemed so vulnerable, "I don't want to lose you Ethan" he cried now too, Ethan couldn't bring himself to speak he was crying so hard, he was holding onto Cal so hard, he was the last person on this planet he had and he didn't want to lose him either.

Cal pulled away from Ethan and held him in front of him, he pulled off his glasses and wiped his eyes before he looked back up at Cal with tear-filled eyes "I'm scared Caleb" he whimpered.

"Me too" Cal sniffed as he pulled him in for a hug once more.

"Cal..." Emilie's almost silent voice whispered. Cal pulled away from Ethan once more and looked over at his mother to find her body slump down on the bench.

"Emilie?" Cal called worryingly, "Emilie!" He shouted and ran over instantly; he kneeled down before her and checked her pulse, "Ethan!" He shouted over to his brother who was stood frozen watching on, he gave him a shake of his head; it was time.

Ethan debated going over, he hated her guts right now but she deserved to die happy at least. Cal watched him warily as he made his way over with blood shot eyes and red cheeks. He looked like a dead man walking.

Ethan slowly kneeled down before his dying mother and took hold of her hand, "It's okay mum...we're here" he gave her a smile.

Emilie looked deep into his kind eyes "I'm-so-sorry-Ethan" she spoke breathlessly.

"Don't" he told her, he didn't want her last thought to be of something so horrible. "Que sera sera..." Ethan began singing to her as he stroked her hair back out of her face, "...whatever will be will be" he whimpered, Cal looked at him and then back to Emilie, "the future's not ours to see" Cal joined in as he put his arm around Ethan, "Que sera sera, what will be will be...que sera sera" the pair of them had tears silently tracing their cheeks as they watched Emilie's eyes slowly close though a smile still remained on her face.

"She's gone" Cal announced quietly, Ethan nodded slowly they both still had their eyes fixed on their mother. Although they hadn't known her for long, she'd never looked so peaceful, so happy, so content with life all she wanted was her boys back and that's what she got, though unfortunately it was hard for Ethan to find the good in that.

"This is my future Cal, let's face it it's not pretty" Ethan stated.

"Let's not think about that eh? Like the song says, the future's not ours to see, no matter what happens we'll get through it together" Cal told him.

Ethan looked as though he was about to pour his heart out but the second he opened his mouth he sighed deeply, "let's go home"

Back at ED Cal and Ethan slowly made their way the doors, "boys!" Charlie called over to them, "I heard you highjacked an ambulance?" He asked shocked, "did you get her to the hostel safely then?" Charlie smiled. The pair of them walked past him like zombies; they didn't even acknowledge him, "Cal? Ethan?" Charlie asked confused, just as he was about to follow them he saw Iain and Jazz walk through the door pushing a trolley with a body bag placed on it, he looked back to the brothers who walked side by side to see Cal put his arm around Ethan's shoulder as they continued to walk; suddenly everything made sense.


End file.
